I really love being a mommy most of the time. I say most of the time because my 6yr old Raegan has been a tough child. She is stubborn and strong willed and emotional. All of these things make me know she is going to be and awesome adult but as a mother dealing with a child like this it is really hard! Take this morning for instance. My alarm goes off at 7am and I go in to wake her up. Meanwhile Ruby is rolling around sucking on her hands wanting to nurse. So I go into Raegan's room and say, "hey baby, its time to wake up." I get her an outfit to wear and lay it on her bed and tell her to get dressed while I nurse Ruby. At 6yrs old I don't think it is to much to ask for her to get herself up and dressed. Well apparently I'm wrong! Because instead of getting dressed while I'm nursing the baby she is in her room screaming and yelling and whining about how she "can't" get up and she "can't" get dressed. So I say, "If you aren't dressed by the time I'm done nursing the baby you will have 1 screen time taken away".
Let me digress and tell you about screen time. Raegan is a TV junkie. She has been her whole little life. And while I realise that is my fault I also plan on fixing it before its to late and I end up with a loser, fat, TV kid. So I have changed the rules and we now get only 2 hours of screen time a day. That can be used for 4 half hour shows, 1 movie, computer time or a mix match of computer and TV. She hates this and has been bucking the system every day but in a way this makes me know that I am doing the right thing. Because if it is that traumatic to her to only have 2 hours of screen time a day then there was a problem. Being that she is 6yrs old she looks at her 2 hours as 4 shows. Even if that is not how she uses it, her brain translates it that way.
So back to this morning. When I say to her that she will have screen time taken away if she is not dressed by the time I'm done, she starts wailing! Stomping and crying and throwing herself on her bed. The works! I then say, " You now have 1 screen time taken away for your behavior. Please get dressed and stop screaming or more will be taken away." At this point silence for 10min. I'm crossing my fingers as I finish nursing Ruby that Raegan has gotten dressed. But oh no! When I go into her room she is just sitting on her bed with her arms crossed, face red from crying and in her panties only. Inside I scream! Outwardly I say calmly, "Raegan you now have 2 screen times taken away. 1 for your behavior and 1 for not doing what I asked of you. Do you remember what I asked you to do?" She starts screaming and throws herself to the floor. I calmly repeat, "Do you remember what I asked of you?" "YES!!", she screams. "What did I ask?", I say. And then add, "please lower your voice and speak to me kindly as I am speaking to you". "TO GET DRESSED! BUT I WANT MY SCREEN TIME BACK!!!", she screams at me. All the while not getting dressed and continuing to throw herself around the floor. I then say to her, "Mommy is loosing her patience, you need to stop screaming and stand up and get dressed right now!" At this point she can only focus on her lost screen time. So I say, "If you straighten up your behavior right now and turn this morning around by not yelling anymore and getting dressed you may be able to earn back your screen time 1 at a time." She stops screaming but stands there looking at me. I say, "Can you get dressed please?" She begins to put her pants on. But this then turns into a big ordeal because she is convinced she just does not like how they feel. So the screaming ensues. I say to her 3 times to go ahead and take the pants off and I will give her another pair. But does she hear me? I don't know! All I do know is that she continues to flail around on the floor screaming about the pants. So I say, "1....2.....3" Slowly of course giving her time in between each number to respond. But still no response just screaming and flailing. Then I say, "Your will no longer be able to earn back your screen time today because of your attitude and behavior." Well this gets her attention. Not the desired effect, because the screaming goes up a pitch if that is at all possible. However, she at least heard me.
Eventually, through all of the tears and screams and kicks and flails, her clothes somehow make it onto her little body and we are on our way to the dinning room for breakfast. She chooses to have toast with Nutella on it. This is a favorite of hers. I offer to read her a book while she eats. I'm hoping that it will change the mood and get her mind off of the lost screen time and the previous disaster. Reading to her works and I only have to remind her to eat about 10 times instead of 50.
I am not at all looking forward to her return from school. She will ask for her screen time and I will be forced to stick to my guns and only give her 1hr or 2 shows as she puts it. I pray that the battle of wills won't be as bad as I anticipate.
I know that later in life this strong willed child will go far. She has so much potential and vivacity. But being the parent to her and trying it teach her how to rain in the emotions and use her powers for good is SO hard! Gosh I love this kid and I love being her mommy but it just might kill me LOL! And now I'm starting all over with Ruby. I hope its a little smoother with her. Or is that asking to much?
